Job interviewer asks 29-year-old female applicant if she has children despite the fact that asking that is illegal: 'I have been asked if I have kids every single job interview.'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 5, 2026 8:00 AM EST

Who is training these interviewers? 

Job interviews are a tough nut to crack. As the interviewee, it feels like the interviewer has all the power, and you have to read their cues and say whatever they want to have a shot at the job. You feel like you have to answer every single question, no matter how silly or pointless. "Are you a morning or a night person?" obviously has a right and a wrong answer when you're interviewing for a job that starts at 8 AM. In job interviews, you have your four STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) stories rolling around in your head, and you have to be incredibly strategic about which answers you give to which behavioral questions. 

Job interviews feel like the wild west because it feels like the interviewer can ask you any question, but that's not true. There are a lot of questions a job interviewer can't ask you. They can't ask you if you are an American citizen, where your accent is from, whether your parents were born in this country, or if English is your native language. Job interviewers can't ask you your age because it is illegal to discriminate against workers 40 and over in the hiring process. They aren't allowed to ask about your religion, but they can ask if you can work on weekends. They can't ask you if you're married or have children, but they can ask if you can work overtime.

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  • A woman sitting at a desk with a laptop computer
    via Ahmet Kurt (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Just because job interviewers are technically not allowed to ask you about your marital status and children doesn't stop them from doing so, especially to young female employees. They are the demographic that's more likely to be discriminated against for having children because companies don't want employees who are going to go on maternity leave imminently. 

  • My job interviewer is asking about children

    I know it's technically illegal for interviewers to ask if you have kids and discriminate but as a women I have been asked every single time if I have kids or plan to. And it's always asked kinda in like a small talk way not like it's one of the interview questions but let's be real it affects their opinion. I'm 29
    via u/Bananajeansgirl
  • married and don't have kids so I always just say nope no kids cause I figured it works in my favor since it makes me seem more reliable. But if I didn't want to answer the question what's a polite way of declining to answer without seeming rude or unprofessional?
    via u/Bananajeansgirl
  • sacrebluh I'd lie and say no regardless. Then ask about their own kids.
    via u/sacrebluh
  • Full_Response8449 I'm a recruiter... that's illegal
    via u/Full_Response8449
  • SomeSamples Say, "I am here at this interview to see if I am a good fit for your position. Are children a requirement or detriment to me getting the job?"
    via u/SomeSamples
  • inmykaleidoscope This question always seems to work against me lol. I'm perm childfree. When I say that whoever is interviewing me always seems to get really mad. I also used to work somewhere with a lot of people my age (30s) that seemed to be continuously pissed at me that they all had multiple kids and I was childfree. I don't think you can really win as a woman - people get mad when you breed and people get mad when you don't. There is no right answer.
    via u/inmykaleidoscope
  • Bright_Upstairs3900 I would find a way to deflect and change the topic
    via u/Bright_Upstairs3900
  • IAM_Lord Tobias That's illegal in some states to ask about children or anything of the like
    via u/IAM_LordTobias
  • Visible-Bag-3376 It's illegal to ask. Do you really want to work for an organisation that discriminate against women? Big red flag.
    via u/Visible-Bag-3376
  • Four men sitting at desk talking
    via Sebastian Herrmann

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Sample-quantity "Interesting that you would ask that. What's the relevance?" They are stupid so you really don't want to work there.
    via u/Sample-quantity
  • salsafresca_1297 It sounds like the question itself isn't illegal, but using it against somebody in the hiring process is. The trouble is, there's no way to prove that they've done the latter. If confronted about it, they can claim any reason they wish for rejecting you. https://www.eeoc.gov/pre- employment-inquiries-and- marital-status-or-number- children "I prefer to keep work and personal matters separate. My personal life won't have any impact on my ability to do an excellent job here." If t
    via u/salsafresca_1297
  • donksky I'd record it/lie and if didn't get the job, report them.
    via u/donksky
  • Person using laptop computer
    via Christin Hume

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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question recruiter job workplace job interview married women children job application
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